Scary Movies

To ease back into my blogging, I’ve decided a little levity is in order. So, here’s a quick story about how much of an idiot I am.

My brothers went through a horror movie phase when I was about eight years old. One night, we watched a movie about a neighborhood where the appliances were malfunctioning and killing people. This was over twenty years ago, so I’m fuzzy on the details but the main character was a little boy who went to live with his father and stepmother. As I recall, when a house was about to be affected the grass near the front door would go brown. The most significant events in the movie, in my opinion, are when a sink disposal spits a knife into someone’s eye and when the stepmother gets burned in the shower.

My fear of the knife scene is self-explanatory. The shower scene was much worse for me.

The stepmother is in the shower, and it’s one of those showers with a textured glass door that clicks shut rather than slides. She is in the shower when the water starts getting hotter and hotter. At first she tries turning the knob, then shutting it off. But, the water continues to rain down and is burning her. Next, she tries opening the door but it’s somehow locked. She screams and bangs her body against it to no avail. Finally, the husband runs in, sees her, can’t get the door to open, and ends up breaking the glass to get her. It’s too late by then, though, and she is very badly burned.

This scene just about ruined me. We had showers just like that at my grandmother’s house, where I lived for part of my childhood. I have not shut a glass door shower all the way since the late 80’s. Even when it started to ruin the tile at my house and my dad found out and yelled at me.

I’ve told people of this fear many times before and recounted the scene as above. In addition to what I’ve written here, the only other thing that I could ever remember about the movie was its title, PulseHowever, no matter how many people I asked, including my brothers, no one ever remembered the movie. For the last 25 years, this movie has been a (small) defining moment of my life.

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Yesterday, I was home from work, sick, and surfing through the movie channels on my television when I saw it. Pulse. Could it be?

I looked at the information in the movie summary and my mouth dropped open. Yes, it was definitely the right movie but that wasn’t the stunner. It was the cast that got me.

My entire life, I’ve been terrified of a PG-13 Joey Lawrence movie.

Shame.

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